I am not ready for summer to end. While it is true that I am not a fan of cold weather, my sadness of summer ending has more to do with my children.
When my kids were really little, it seemed like that was how my life was always going to be. I was so in survival mode (not getting enough sleep, getting the kids down for naps, bottles, etc) that it never occurred to me that someday we would grow up. At the time, it seemed as if life would always be that. Time moved sllllooowww.
I saw a couple of Moms one day on a walk with their kids. Each Mom had a stroller with at least one baby/toddler in it. There were a few other little ones on bikes. I had just dropped my kids off at school and was walking to my car. The Moms were walking up to school to let their kids play on the playground. It occurred to me that to those Moms and kids, school was basically just a park to them. They had no idea of bus schedules, cold/hot lunches, homework or anything that school now represents to me. Just a few years ago, I was that Mom with Nancy walking up to play on those jungle gyms after the big kids were in school. At that moment, it shocked me that we had grown out of that phase of our life and that the school playground was no longer just a park, but, well…the school playground.
My kids are funny. They make me laugh. They get my jokes. They know how to soften me when I get crabby. I know I am a lucky lady to have children that are growing up to be good people. They are going to be really good, fun friends to people. But, every once in a while I get a feeling of panic at how fast life is happening.
It takes my breath away that they are growing up. My oldest still has about 75% boy in him. There is an older boy starting to take over. I like that older boy, but it doesn’t stop me from missing the chubby little guy in the Baby Gap carpenter jeans dancing like a rock star to the Wiggles. He still drops everything to go look for frogs with his brother. He can be lured away with candy and still thinks the cake walk is awesome. His still wants to participate in his 5 year old sister’s birthday party and more than likely will take out some of the younger kids if it means winning. But, soon enough there will be an edge that sets in that will set him apart from his brother and sister. He’ll start to hesitate and choose to watch instead of runoff with the younger ones. My husband is more ready for that than I am.
Summers are easier now. All three of my kids generally wake up happy. They can get breakfast on their own. They do their “jobs” and can be off playing while I work. The hardest thing for me is that next summer they will be different kids…still my kids, but slightly different. They will be older and wiser...probably edgier. Molly probably won’t call me Mommy. Daniel might not want me to hug him in public. Calvin…well, all bets are off with Calvin. He is my wildcard.
So, as I write this, I know I am blessed with creative, wild and happy children. But, at the same time, once school starts we are moving at the speed of life and it goes by fast! Schedules pick back up and every moment is filled with school, sports, and more making the days move so much quicker. With each win and loss this year they will grow. With each new experience they will change. But, I guess I will be along for the ride and instead of crying about how fast life is going by, I better suck it up and enjoy the journey.
Ok, Molly just walked in and told me that she is very excited that she gets a real desk this year, not a table where everyone sits. She topped it off with “My own space”. I guess we are ready. Onward and Upward.
Have a beautiful 2011-2012 school year!