Jodi Halverson

My friend Jodi passed away this past week.  She left behind 4 amazing kids, extremely loving parents and an unbelievably enormous fan club.  This lady had reach and she brought her A game to our everyday lives, whether she was roaming the aisles at Super Target, at the neighborhood Christmas party, at work or watching movies at home with her kids.

She was the best audience, because she had a laugh that came straight from her soul.  I felt like the funniest person on earth when I was with her, because no matter what I said, she would laugh.  She had a weird and wonderful sense of humor that quickly bridged the gap between stranger and new best friend with anyone new that crossed her path.  Her laugh was contagious and if you were in the same room with her, you wanted to be close to that laugh. Her laugh made you laugh and pretty soon, you'd have a bunch of people standing around laughing, some not even in on the original joke.

Over the past few years, Jodi and I had grown apart a little bit.  We had moved out of the neighborhood, our kids played different sports and life was busy.  But, even though I didn't see her every day, when I did run into her, she always made me feel like the most important person in the world to her.  In fact, when she died I was shocked to read comment after comment on her Facebook page about how she made people feel.  Where in the world did she find the time to nurture us all, to make us laugh and listen to our problems, with a completely open heart.

Over the past week, my mind continues to circle back to Jodi and the good times.  I think a lot about the early years and trips with our kids to the beach or the pool or the movies...dragging along snacks and diaper bags and everything else. Me, super uptight and Jodi laughing at my rigidness toward parenthood and showing me the ropes on how not to sweat the small stuff.  She threw together HUGE end of the school year parties for the kids, chili on Halloween and every year would gather a small audience and make her kids perform a fashion show with their new school clothes.  She loved her children so much and along with them, their friends.  Jodi was the fun Mom.  My heart breaks for her children, as they not only lose a Mom, but really their best friend.

And, while Jodi was the fun Mom, she was also the fun friend.  She made parties more fun.  She made Super Target more fun.  She made life more fun.

Jodi LOVED my fear of animals. She was an animal lover herself and found my fear completely intriguing and hysterical.  She loved my reaction when a dog would run toward me or a bird would fly too close to my head (probably not all that close).  I would be in the fetal position and Jodi would be next to me, close to peeing her pants because she would be laughing so hard. One night, Jake and I got home from a night out and I walked into our kitchen and my bold ran cold, as a deer was standing on our deck looking in our sliding glass door.  Jodi had borrowed the neighbors deer decoy and dragged it through our neighborhood, into our backyard and up to our deck, so that she could scare me senseless.  She also borrowed a rather large fake owl and placed it on my front porch.  I almost fainted the first time I saw that huge thing sitting on my front porch.  I didn't mention the owl to her for a few days and left it there, torturing her on whether I had noticed it or not.  And, each time I walked past my front window, I would forget it was there and over and over again, scare myself.

Jodi had a unique ability to reserve judgement.  I know it was one of the biggest reasons so many loved her.  If you felt bad about yourself, you called Jodi.  She made you feel better about yourself and the situation.  She never looked down on you and she had a graceful way of building you back up and restoring your sense of self worth.

This week has been interesting thinking about this, as I kept defaulting to "Jodi would want me to..."
Jodi would want me to have another glass of wine.  Jodi would want me to eat a sleeve of girl scout cookies.  Hell no, Jodi would not want me to fold my laundry right now.  That was the best part of Jodi.  Whatever you wanted, well, she thought that was just fine.  What's the hang up?  Life is way too short to be stressed about an oreo cookie.

Over the last few years, whether we were hootin' it up in the dairy aisle at Super Target or if our paths crossed at the occasional neighborhood party, we always parted ways with the promise to get together and share a glass of wine.  Just us.  And, of course, it never happened.

I have been feeling guilty about that all week.  Then yesterday, when I was thinking about her and her life and our inability to go have one glass of wine together, it hit me.  Would Jodi want me to feel guilty about that?  Ummm...no.  Would Jodi want me to tell you about the fake deer on my deck because it would make you laugh?  Yes.

I heard this song around the time Jodi passed away and now it will always be the song that brings her right back to my heart and mind.  I miss her.

Our Suprise Field Trip Today

Today my kids had the day off from school, so I decided we would go on a field trip.  I didn't tell them where we were going.  I had heard about a fun bookstore in the Linden Hills area of Minneapolis.  It is called Wild Rumpus.  It has animals that roam around the store (like chickens and cats - we only saw the chicken today).  They have a fish tank in the bathroom, a big iguana in a tank and mice that you can watch through a window in the hardwood floors and so very much more.

It was fun not telling them where we were going.  Calvin (my dreamer) watched out the window and about every 5 minutes asked when we would be there.  Daniel (my first born and control freak) kept trying to guess, sure that he knew where we were going. Molly (my rock star) sang along with the radio and just enjoyed the fact that she wasn't home cleaning her room.

I was worried that Daniel would be too old and not enjoy himself.  I had heard about this bookstore and have wanted to take my kids there (before they were too old and too cool).  Daniel is on the fence right now.  He is at that point in his life where he is almost too cool, but the kid that is there in his heart still gets the best of him.

So, we pull up in front of Wild Rumpus (a 35 minute drive from our house) and Daniel and Cal (wasn't expecting Cal to be too cool), were both disappointed that we were at a children's bookstore.  Molly, of course, couldn't wait to get out of the car.  I thought at the very least they would love the name.  Our favorite part of Where the Wild Things Are has always been when Max yells "let the wild rumpus start"!

As I am parking, I go on the defense and explain that this isn't any bookstore and let them know about the animals and their mood starts to change. I can now see that they are interested.  Next, we get out of the car and start walking down a pretty little street and run into the sweetest thing.  I could see on their faces that they couldn't believe that this was just sitting there for anyone to take.  It was a "little library".  It said "Take One. Leave One".  It was so sweet and fun to see and we hadn't even reached the bookstore yet.

Once we got inside Wild Rumpus, Daniel and Cal returned to their super cool selves again...until they saw other super cool preteens, right alongside toddlers looking in aquariums, checking out the bathroom fish tank, casually reading while a chicken peeked out from under a chair.

Molly was just Molly.  She loved it all up.  Every single second of it.  She wasn't too cool for anything.

As we were leaving, Cal asked if we could come again.  I knew he would like all of those animals.  Daniel said he was surprised by how much fun it was.  He found books that he had never heard of before. He said that we should get a chicken for a pet and we can name it Steve. I was so relieved that I had squeaked them in before they were too cool to appreciate what an amazing place this is. The tiny door was also a big giveaway. You can't be too cool AND leave by the tiny door. You can really only use the tiny door with a big smile on your face when you just had a really good time.

As a bonus, we found this guy across the street from the bookstore.  And being on a "that was an awesome bookstore high" and a little bit of a sugar buzz, they were happy to pose with him.  Daniel did panic a bit and told me to hurry up before someone yelled at us.  He is from the suburbs.  When was the last time he got yelled at for posing with a snowman?  I don't know where the panic comes from.  He is first born, I guess.

On our way home, we drove around one of our favorite lakes in the Twin Cities. Lake Calhoun.  I wanted to pull over really quick and get a picture of the kids with downtown Minneapolis in the background.  I pulled over (facing the wrong way along the street, thinking we could jump out and take a quick photo).  Of course, the minute I did this, a police car pulled up.  Daniel's eyes were HUGE (again, the panic).  In fact, the policeman walked up to the car and started laughing because Daniel's expression was so funny.  He kindly told me to legally park before getting out of the car.  We have never had a run in with the law, so that added a little spice to the day.

cover album

You would think that you wouldn't be able to top a Bookstore with live, roaming animals or a police car that turned its lights because of your illegal park job.  It just doesn't seem possible, does it?  Well, it just so happens that peeing in a porta potty in 7 degree weather is completely awesome (to 10 and 12 year old boys).  Their reaction when they saw that porta potty was like they had struck gold.

Calvin waiting his turn to pee in the porta potty.

And, that was our surprise field trip today.

So, today my kids have the day off.  I got up and went for a run and planned on taking them to the gym, so that they could shoot baskets before their basketball tournament this weekend (like we usually do).  For some reason, while I was running, I started thinking about how when they were little, we would wake up in the morning and decide to run down to the zoo just to watch the divers feed the sharks.  Or how we used to walk around Target (not even Super Target back then) for a good hour, just to kill time because we had nothing better to do between lunch and nap time...and we would have a really good time.

Well, they are bigger now.  We are constantly running from practice and games to Faith Formation and gymnastics and million other things.  I feel like we don't do enough adventures, like we used to.  I know that happens in life and soon enough friends will over take wanting to hang out with me.  Maybe that is what happened this morning.

When I walked in from my run, I told the kids that we would head for the gym in an hour.  They all looked so cozy and happy and they were really enjoying their morning off.  So, I asked if they wanted to skip the gym and go on a surprise field trip.  They certainly did.

To the teachers, volunteers and staff of District 279

From the bottom of our hearts we would like to thank you for your time, talent and patience with our greatest and most precious gifts.

We send them off on the first day of Kindergarten… crying (most of the time we are the ones crying), only to see them return, telling us about birthdays and half birthdays and reading cafes and Friday Funday and songs about new shoes and songs about new haircuts and book nooks and the library and seeing eye dogs and much, much more. We hand them over to you when they are little more than babies and you hold their hands and you sing with them and you answer their questions and you teach them. You not only teach them things like math, history and social studies, but you teach them about life. You are their example. Because of how you treat these children…our children…they learn from you to be good and kind people. You are a soft place to fall when they are missing their Mamas or Dads. You help them to be strong when they have had a hard day. They come to know you and love you from seeing you in the hallways, the front office, the lunchroom or the library. They grow to trust you and from that trust, we trust you. We hear about your families and your dogs. We hear about your vacations and your nieces and nephews. We know your favorite candy. We know that you love coffee. We know that you drink tea. We know this because they watch and they listen. They love you. And because of you, our children grow into beautiful young men and women, right before your eyes…and our eyes.

So, from the Principals to the teachers, to the Paras to the volunteers, to the staff and everyone in between at District 279, we are blessed that you are a part of our children's daily lives. We thank you for encouraging and nurturing our leaders of tomorrow.

With great love,

The parents of your students

And When There Was No Crawdads Left, We Ate Sand

The other day, my 10 year old Calvin looked at me with his big blue eyes and asked if it is possible for people to be allergic to glass. I thought he was so cute that he asked such a random question and I pictured some person smelling a glass window and sneezing.  So, sort of giggling to myself said "Wellllllllll....Calvin, I have NEVER heard of THAT".  But then he said, "well, people are allergic to sand and glass is made from sand...".  Oh, I had never really thought of it like that.  So, I said that we should Google it (which has been a very popular response from me from the moment my kids started to question things).
 
We spend a lot of time discussing and figuring stuff out, from homework to just questions like this one.  He asks a ton of questions.  He thinks of really crazy ideas...like his invention of foot mints for stinky feet.  In fact, all three of my kids are really curious.  I don't remember being as curious as they are. Maybe I did question things when I was Calvin's age.  Maybe I asked a ton of questions and connected the dots like Calvin does, but I really don't remember.  I remember just really liking art and music.  I loved playing sports.  As I recall, I didn't excel in the sciences.

In fact, when he brought up the fact that people could be allergic to glass because it is made of sand, my mind wandered and I thought of the movie Raising Arizona.
Prisoner: "And when there was no more Crawdads, to be found, we ate sand."
H.I.: "You ate what?"
Prisoner: "We ate sand".
H.I.: "You ate sand?"
Prisoner: "We ate sand."

I am glad that my kids question things.  It keeps me on my toes.

Oh, and I did Google his question and got distracted about “moon sand”, so if someone knows the answer just let me know.

You Are Awesome!

A few years ago, I ran the Des Moines marathon. It was my first marathon and I had no idea of what was to come.  I remember standing at the starting line with my friend Nancy in downtown Des Moines and being super nervous!  As the gun went off, there was a huge wave of cheers and as I ran under one of the glass skyways, I saw a small group of people jumping up and down and cheering for someone in the crowd of runners.  They were smiling from ear to ear and holding signs and just cheering. It moved me to tears to see these people so genuinely happy for whoever they were cheering on.  Do you know how incredibly difficult it is to cry and run at the same time?

This past weekend, I competed in my very first Triathlon. The Maple Grove Triathalon, to be exact. It was an amazing experience from training with my friends, to bonding with new friends before the race, right up to the finish line. It sounds weird, but I kind of miss it.

So, today when I was out for my morning run, I ended up on the running route of the Triathlon and stumbled upon some words that again, moved me to tears.

Life moves so fast and is so crazy at times that when all the dust settles and you witness human kindness in any form, it can move you to the core.  Someone out there took time to do this.  Maybe for someone that they love or maybe they didn't know anybody in the race.  Their house just happened to sit on the race route, so they grabbed some chalk and did what they must do best...act with pure kindness.   

The Carpool

When I was in the 5^th grade, I was terrified of boys.  Actually, I am pretty sure I didn’t know how to talk to boys until I was in my 20’s.   Once the 5^th grade rolled around, I thought boys were so cute that I would literally shut down if they tried to talk to me.  I remember the summer between the 4^th and the 5^th grade being a game changer.  I remember that in the 5^th grade, the boys that used to eat glue, eat their boogers or just plain pull my hair on the playground had a new glow about them.  Maybe even a swagger.  In the 5^th grade, boys went from being friends I had grown up with to a complete mystery.

So, now it is weird having 5^th and 6^th grade boys of my own.  It is odd and interesting to hear the other side of the story.  The boys’ side.  

As I drive my boys and their friends from baseball games, to golf, to basketball clinics, I hear it all.  I love these little boys, who are quickly turning into young men.  When I was first introduced to the carpool years ago, it was torture. It was all about farting and burping and punching each other.   I can honestly say that the minutes were like hours when this would happen.

The carpool is now my friend.  It is my time to hover over their conversations.  The carpool is similar to a confessional.  Eventually, everything comes out.

Within even the last few weeks, the carpools have graduated to a new level. This past week, 4 ten year old boys discussed the fact that Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian in history.  It was really cool listening to them.  It was sort of surreal.  These boys that I have known since they were really little are discussing world events. They also discuss the MN Twins, their favorite sports, their favorite teams, golf scores, tournament placement, wins, losses, who made what team and now…GIRLS!  Today we discussed girls.

This is what happened.  I was driving my son Calvin and his 3 friends to golf.  One of the boys said to one of the other fellas, “I heard that some girls were calling you last week”.   I asked my son “were those the same girls that were calling you?”. Calvin said yes, they were the same girls and apparently they had called 3 out of the 4 boys in the car.  No one seemed put off by this information.  I know who these girls are and I know that the boys think they are cute and I also know who likes who (just like me and my 5th grade friends used to talk).  So, I throw out there “those girls are calling all of you guys, what's up with that” just to see what happens.  That caused a little bit of discussion.  Then, my son Calvin with his buzz hair cut, flat bill baseball hat and ears that he hasn’t quite grown into yet looks at me with a huge grin and says “THEY CAN'T RESIST US!”  And, with that, they were back to discussing sports.

If I knew how boys felt about girls when I was in 5^th grade, I probably wouldn’t have been as scared of them.  It’s all the same thing, just packaged differently.